How to address your money blocks with an abundance mindset

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Today’s post is all about mastering the art of addressing money blocks. Acknowledging your problems with money is not enough to make them go away so if you’re dealing with what you’d describe as serious financial problems, this post was crafted for you.  

But first, here are some financial problems examples:

  • Not enough money
  • Minimum or missed payments on credit cards
  • Job loss
  • Late bill payments or you seek extensions on a regular basis
  • Too much debt
  • Health care costs
  • Legal action for debt recovery
  • Earning more than enough money

These are all categorized under “money blocks” in the world of mindset work and one of the things I work with my clients on in the last phase of the “Breaking Mindset Barriers for Professional Counselors” program is money mindset because it’s crucial that you address these to avoid blocking abundance in your life. Now let’s take the problems above and translate how they might show up in one’s mindset.

  • “I’m worried my money will run out.”
  • “I’ll never pay this debt off because I can only afford the minimum payment.”
  • “I need a job quickly! I’ll take whatever I can get even if it pays less than I’m worth.”
  • “I just can’t seem to get ahead because I’m drowning in debt.”
  • “I’ll go to the doctor less. We can’t afford it.”
  • “I’m going to ignore it because I can’t pay it anyways.”
  • “If I earn too much, too much will be expected of me.” 

Do any of these describe your attitude towards money? If so, please know there is no judgment. Many people are living in a high debt to income ratio so you’re not alone. It’s very easy to slip into negative thinking when it comes to money. In America specifically, there’s a belief that teens should be pushed to college immediately after graduating high school and many do. The problem is that they leave with high and sometimes even a credit card debt. Once hopeful about their future, they settle for jobs with low salaries and do their best to pay off their student loan debt. According to an article by Nitro College, the average student loan debt amount is $37,172 with an average monthly payment of $393. These numbers are expected to climb as more people enter the adult world without financial education. If you haven’t heard of the student loan debt crisis, you’ve been living under a rock. 

I’ve heard all sorts of stories about how people are going to pay off their high debt. Some wait on a family inheritance, some say they’ll do it the old fashion way by working hard, tightening up their budget, living on less and getting that debt down. Some plan to rely on student loan forgiveness and wait for it…some people are even waiting on money miracles to show up! Don’t laugh, this is a real belief and I used to have that type of thinking. The truth is that some of those things may happen but even if you won the lottery, if you had serious financial problems before, they will only be highlighted. If you have a negative money mindset now, winning the lottery or gaining inheritance from a family member likely won’t be the best thing that happens to you. Why? Because you haven’t dealt with the root of your money problems. Let’s break this down.

There could be several things impacting your money mindset.

Problem #1: Whatever you think about money leads to how you feel about money. That feeling gives off an energy. That energy is either supporting your money breakthrough or keeping you stuck.

Solution: You’ll need to clean up your thoughts and beliefs about money. The first step is becoming aware of how your beliefs impact your money mindset. This can be done by an awareness of your body’s response when you exchange money. For instance, if when you satisfy a bill payment, you notice soreness in your back, that energy is something you need to clear. Your subconscious mind may have the belief “It’s so stressful when I have to pay bills” therefore you associate circulating money in a negative way. 

Problem #2: You grew up in a family where money was always discussed negatively. 

Solution: Write down all the messages you received in your childhood about money. For example, maybe you grew up hearing “Money is hard to come by.” The belief you adopted as a child might be “I’ll have to work really hard to get money and when I do, it won’t last long.” Next you should write down a positive reframe of that very statement. This could be “My receipt of money is an exchange for the amount of value I offer into the world. If I’m working hard, it’s because I enjoy what I’m doing and that passion fuels me.” 

Problem #3 You simply don’t see financial freedom as a possibility for you. It’s going to be impossible to develop an abundance mindset if you can’t first see yourself having it. 

Solution: This is going to sound very simple but you must visualize what you having an abundant financial life looks like. You can do simple visualization exercises but just thinking about your desires is not enough. Check out the blog post HERE for one of the key things you’ll need to do when practicing visualization. 

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This list is not all conclusive. This post could easily be six pages long so for now, we’ll limit it to three things that commonly impact money mindset. If you read the issues above and thought to yourself “Wow, I’ve been ruining my chance at financial abundance!,” don’t worry. The good news is there’s still time for you to mentally claim the life you deserve. Once you do the mental work, financial abundance is on the way but you’ll still need to take action. 

Now let’s discuss some ways you can attract more abundance

  1. Express gratitude for the money you already have. There’s no sense in thinking you’ll get blessed with more if you don’t appreciate your current blessings. Sure, you want more. Don’t we all? Let’s try to have an attitude of gratitude and see where that takes you. If you’d like more on this topic, check out a previous blog post HERE.
  1. Track the money you already have. I make it a habit to track the money I receive by writing it down in my daily planner. Some people use a spreadsheet and some just use a tablet and whatever method you choose, it just matters that you’re acknowledging the financial blessings you already receive. I know this probably sounds a little crazy but trust me…I practice this and it works! In one day alone, two different individuals paid for my order at two separate food locations. You’d better bet I wrote the amounts down as money that was received and I expressed gratitude for it. 🙂
  1. Practice living by the moment AND dream about your future. Let me explain… What we’re discussing here is being thankful for what you have in the present AND also anticipating more of that in the future. A good way to do this is to let your brain go wild thinking about all the things you’ll do when you have attracted more money. This can include things you want or places you’d like to visit but also think of your big “Why?” What has inspired you to desire more money? Do you want to give more to your favorite charity? Do you look forward to supporting the Children’s Ministry at your church? Or maybe you desire to expand your business so that you can offer employment to stay-at-home moms. Whatever the case may be, the takeaway is that it’s a good idea to expand your thinking to the impact you can make on society as a whole by your financial freedom.

Now let’s talk about God and money

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you already know the Christian perspective is coming your way. 🙂 First, let me disclose that my master’s degree is in counseling psychology and not divinity. In all things biblical, be encouraged to read the texts for yourself and most importantly, make sure to read them in context. Now that that’s out of the way…

During my childhood, I would commonly hear “Money is the root of all evil.” As you can expect, the implicit message learned there was that people who have money are evil, selfish and they use their money for devilish means. Talk about a negative money mindset! Please don’t tell my parents. Lol When a person grows into adulthood, they have the opportunity to keep their inherited beliefs, adopt their own or find a nice mix. If you keep the idea that money is bad, don’t expect to attract more financial abundance

So where does that leave those of us who identify as Christian? The answer is simple. Your brain will accept whatever you feed it. Even further, your subconscious mind will store all the messages you’ve ever learned about money just as a computer will store all your files until you go in and manually delete them. 

This, my friends, is why your decision today is very important. Do you want to remain in your current financial circumstances or are you ready to do the work it takes to improve your money mindset? Improve is the key word here because you will always have money blocks popping up. This will happen even more so as you reach new levels of financial freedom. You’ll need to continue to do the work to reach new heights and the good news is that growth is a life-long process anyways. 

I’ll leave you with these four things that helped me reconcile my childhood beliefs about money that blocked financial abundance in adulthood. They’re all tied to Christianity.

  1. Take everything to God in prayer. This does not exclude your finances.
  2. Find scriptures on financial prosperity that motivate you.
  3. Recognize and actively challenge the financial beliefs you inherited from Christian leaders and/or adults in your childhood.
  4. Consistently ask God how he will use you and your money to help his people. It’s hard to maintain the belief that money is evil when there are people who need your help. Remember that 1 Timothy 6:10 states “For the love of money is the root of all evil.” (KJV, not the full scripture) The key word is “love” here. Make your own interpretation.

As always, this post is meant to encourage and inspire you to live your best self. When we share what we’ve learned along the way, a ripple effect takes place. Share this post with a friend you believe needs help in this area because sharing is caring. Oh, and keep up with Marquita Myrick Coaching at the following locations:

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If you’re a Licensed Professional Counselor, and you’d like to check out the “Breaking Mindset Barriers for Professional Counselors” program mentioned in today’s post, click HERE.

Until next time,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Conquering Fear With 3 Simple Mindset Steps

Have you ever woke up and decided you’re ready to overcome fear but took no action because you didn’t know where to start? If so, this blog post is for you.

Yesterday, I took my first adult swimming lesson. Now before you start to wonder why today’s topic is about swimming and not Mindset Coaching, hold your horses because I promise to tie all of this in. 🙂

Back to the story. As a child, I was fearful of water…deathly afraid to be exact. The thought that drowning was possible made the idea of even trying too much to face. So I barely passed the class with my sister and our supportive parents didn’t push because “If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it.” Looking back, I understand they were giving us autonomy. As an adult with kids, I now question how much I’ll push my kiddos when it really comes to facing fear…especially when those fears involve basic life lessons that one should know. Fast forward to being a mom in her mid-thirties (That’s all I’m willing to admit. lol) with 2 young children who love water, I had no choice but to enroll them and myself in lessons. You read into that correctly…my fear of drowning even extended to them.

So what fears are holding you back in adulthood? Which ones might you pass on to your kids if you don’t face them? Generational fear can be passed down and someone has to break the cycle. Will that be you? If I still have your attention, then I’d bet my money that it won’t. Here are 3 mindset steps to help you conquer fear.

  1. Explore your fear’s origin. Was it something that originated in your childhood? What message did you learn about fear of ____?
  2. Take action by visualizing yourself engaging in that fear. (i.e. If your fear is swimming, visualize yourself feeling comfortable in the water, floating and smiling as your kids watch you naturally engage in swim.)
  3. Utilize affirmations that help your sub-conscious mind embrace a new way of relating to your old fear. (i.e. “I enjoy learning to swim.” “I feel relaxed in the water.”)

If you practice those 3 steps consistently on repeat, you can embrace your fears in a way that’s comfortable and empowering. I’m living proof that it CAN be done! Also, if you have a fear of changing careers due to say fear of being judged by colleagues, fear that you won’t be successful, fear of learning something new, you can use these same steps to conquer that as well. Consistency is the key here.

If you enjoyed today’s post and would like to join a community of like-minded counselors who are all looking to heal their mindset wounds, consider joining my Facebook group “Mindset Healing for Counselors” HERE. See you on the inside!

Xoxo,

Marquita

How to discover and heal the subconscious money blocks impacting your daily financial habits

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Hey loves!

It’s been a while…I know. All of a sudden our lives adjusted and there was a need to look at my business activities and adjust how much time I was spending on each task. Blogging, as I’m sure you know, takes research, time and deep thought if one wants to bring the type of value that actually impacts lives. Life is all about balance and as such, I’m now shooting to produce at least one new blog post a month. They will likely be shorter in length but jam packed with actionable information! So there’s that. Now let’s move on to the written value I’ve prepared for you today. 🙂

Let’s talk money blocks…

Are you having a hard time figuring out why you under or overspend money? This doesn’t just define life for the average Professional Counselor but it’s characteristic of the general population as well. Many people describe their financial lives as “living paycheck to paycheck” or “there’s just nothing left over” or “I just can’t seem to spend money. People say I’m cheap.” These are all money blocks of course and if you’ve been following this blog long enough, you’re also into the LOA (Law of Attraction) so basically, the more you recite those negative statements, the more negative habits will continue to manifest into your life.

Here’s the thing about money blocks: they will remain glued to your subconscious mind unless you address them. When I first began studying how to remove them, I delayed the work because it seemed exhausting. You mean to tell me I really need to address all the issues from my past? Well, the truth is that you might want to if you want to truly discover what’s keeping you stuck.

The purpose of today’s post is to give Licensed Professional Counselors one actionable thing to do to deal with their money blocks. Of course people across many professions deal with these blocks however this blog’s focus is specific to counselors because they are often encouraged to provide pro bono services, accept salaries at non-profits that barely cover living expenses and student loans and work way more hours than they’re actually compensated for even after they clock out. There are different ways to address money blocks but the one shared today seems to be the most simple. So here you go-take it or leave it!

Are you ready to address your money blocks, counselor?

Step 1. Trace back to your earliest memory of the exchange of money. This could be something you saw or heard. It could be that as a child, you overheard your parents argue about money. Maybe one parent even yelled “That’s why we’re never able to take any family trips! It’s because you spend all the money before it hits our account!” This one memory could have been the start to all of your current money issues. You either grow up to believe you should spend money before it disappears or you avoid spending money for fear it will run out. Sound familiar?

Step 2. Visualize. Get in a quiet place, relax your body and visualize your earliest memory. Go through the whole scene in your mind and acknowledge any feelings that come up. If it’s fear, sadness, anxiety or frustration for example, you have a better understanding of the feelings the over or under spending of money leaves you with.

Step 3. Replace those negative feelings with positive ones by editing that memory in your head. This many take time and repetition but from personal experience, it works! You’ll simply complete step 2 but this time you’ll imagine hearing a different conversation (or seeing a different scene) take place between your parents. Maybe you’ll replace it with “Honey, I’m so happy our financial abundance affords us the opportunity to take family vacations as often as we’d like. And to think…we even have money left over!” The goal is to keep this positive one on repeat and not the other message. It involves tricking your brain but really, your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference so it doesn’t matter. 😉 You’re just looking to evoke a different feeling each time that comes up and over time, you’ll find that your spending habits (behavior) will change to match your new memory.

So are you ready to take some inspired action? As always, I truly hope this is helpful for you and invite you to comment below or feel free to reach out on social media or via email. I do respond to those messages personally.

If you’re a Professional Counselor looking for more techniques to address your money blocks or you just really don’t want to go the journey alone, check out The Breaking Mindset Barriers for Professional Counselors Program HERE.

Want more ways to keep in touch and weekly inspirational posts? Consider following Marquita Myrick on the following social media platforms.

Click HERE for the Facebook business page and HERE for Instagram.

Until next time,

Marquita Myrick

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Christian Manifestation; How to Get More of What You Want While Honoring God

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In today’s blog post I’m going to take my best shot at explaining manifestation for you…the Christian way. When I first learned of the term “manifest” used in conjunction with spirituality and law of attraction work, I was intrigued. Like many, I jumped down the rabbit hole with multiple Google searches leading me to blogs and YouTube videos. One thing is for sure…there are many ideas around this topic and many strategies offered to make your dreams come true. There has been a huge disconnect however, in how this all relates to those of us who identify as Christian and pray to God and not the universe.

Before we jump in, let’s define it. To manifest is for something to reveal its presence or  make an appearance. My first encounter with this idea was while watching “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne on dvd. It’s based on the belief of the law of attraction and claims that thoughts alone can change a person’s life. Now at the time, there was high resistance. After all, I was brought up in the church, am a preacher’s kid and was always told that although I had free choice, ultimately God would not give me anything he didn’t want me to have. To this day, I still end prayers with “If it’s in your will.”

Fast forward to becoming a therapist, experiencing some life trials and becoming more flexible in my search for knowledge, the idea of practicing manifestation to enhance my life became a topic I would battle for years. Until now…it’s time to settle this for myself and anyone else thirsting for knowledge.

If you desire a clear understanding as to how you can serve God and manifest without calling on the universe, you are in the right place. This post is not about how to manifest anything overnight. Rather, the aim is to clear up the confusion so you can understand how to be a faithful Christian that also embraces the law of attraction. By all means do the research for yourself, pray and seek understanding on your own.

Scriptures to Calm Your Fear of Manifesting as a Christian

Again, do your own research in scripture. Read them in context, and pray for understanding. These suggestions aren’t law. It’s a way for you as a fellow Christian to better understand how to incorporate manifesting into your life without feeling that Christian guilt.

In all thy ways, acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6 (KJV) The scripture above is what was impressed on my mind as I began writing this post. Daily prayer about how to do this manifesting thing right will do that. As Christians, we must acknowledge God in everything that we do. It is my belief that manifesting doesn’t mean I don’t trust God to direct my paths. It just means that when I am directed in a path, I acknowledge him while I also take inspired action to pursue more of what I want.

“Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.”  Mark 11:24 (KJV) This is another scripture that stands out when searching for ways to incorporate the Christian faith with manifestation. In it, we are literally told to believe we will receive the things we pray for. How amazing is that!? This lines right up with manifesting our dreams and to me, incorporates that faith element.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV) This is a verse that really helped me tie things in. Faith is all about believing that even the things that are unseen will come to pass. It’s okay to believe in miracles. It’s perfectly fine for us to hope for things that we have not seen. God asks this of us as Christians…to have faith in him. So the next time you’re dreaming, visualizing and thinking about the things you’d like to see manifest in your life, remember this scripture and believe that you can incorporate your Christian values into your manifestation practice.

So what does Manifesting entail?

If you truly want  to manifest more, you’re going to need to clean up your energy and actively identify your blocks. From a scientific standpoint, everything and every person has energy. Have you ever wondered why you get along so well with most people but every now and again you bump into someone you don’t like but can’t pinpoint why? Their energy is off and you don’t need to take their temperature to tell. You feel it because you’re not an energetic match with that person. The same is true with thoughts, ideas, experiences, etc. If your thoughts are always negative, you can expect to attract more negativity into your life and the same is true for positive thoughts (law of attraction.)

With regards to blocks, everyone has them and they span across different categories. Mental blocks are anything that keeps you from getting more of what you desire. Money, relationships, career and self-confidence blocks are a few categories in which you may encounter mental blocks. For example,  you may have had a bad breakup with your high school sweetheart and are finding that any relationship you’ve had since then hasn’t lasted. There are likely some underlying blocks around relationships based on your past experience. If you want to learn more on addressing your money blocks specifically, click HERE to read a previous blog post.

So how do you clear these blocks to make away for positive energy that helps you manifest more?

Step 1: Get real with yourself. Acknowledge your low-level thoughts, energy and beliefs that are keeping you stuck. If you’ve felt low for a while, it’s a good idea to pray and ask God to reveal the beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Trust me, it will be revealed. Once you get clear on what they are, you can create positive space for manifestations to come through.

Step 2: Commit to going inward. Yes love, this is going to take internal work to include reframing negative thoughts, exploring how you arrived at your present state of being and actively addressing blocks as they resurface. The most important part in this step is that you pray for release. See, you can manifest as a Christian! 🙂 Simply ask God to set you free from all the things holding you back from your greatness.

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Step 3: Get clear on what it is that you want. Are you saying you’d like a new job and “God, I’ll take anything!” Don’t be surprised when the better job presents itself paying $5 less an hour than you make now. It’s better because it’s less on the job stress but now you have to worry about paying all your bills on time. Yeah…this is why you need to be crystal clear on what it is you want and don’t be afraid to tell God exactly what that is! First of all, he knows anyways and secondly, you’re short changing yourself if you aren’t bringing your biggest and boldest prayers to him!

Step 4: Embrace the idea that you already have it. Some manifestations take longer than others so in the meantime, you can prepare for your breakthrough in several ways. Spend time daily visualizing what it is that you want and sit with the feeling of having it. Write down all the things that come along with having it and remember to be specific. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what is and what hasn’t occurred yet and from a metaphysical perspective, if you believe it’s yours, it already is!

Step 5: Take inspired action. Are there things you could be doing that will bring you one step closer to your dream? Write down a list of what they are then pull out your calendar and mark down how often you plan to do them. Again, pray and ask for God’s guidance on what you should spend your time on. I’m constantly seeking his guidance in my business. A common prayer is “God, what are the activities I should focus on to help others in my business?”

If this sounds like a lot of internal work, that’s because it is. Do you want to hear more news? It never stops. As you clear blocks and reach new levels of success, more blocks will appear. Sometimes, even ones you thought were cleared will appear again in new ways. It’s worth doing the work though because there’s nothing like peace of mind.

I truly hope this blog post has been encouraging, uplifting and motivating. Most importantly, I hope it calms your nerves around whether or not you’re betraying God by exploring ideas on how to manifest. If you have any feedback at all, feel free to comment below or reach out on Facebook. You can connect with me on my business page HERE.

Also, don’t forget to check out “The Breaking Mindset Barriers Program for Professional Counselors.” This post is only a snippet of the work I do with my clients. If you want to work with me 1:1 and are ready to dive deep and transform your mindset, check out the program HERE.

Until next time,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Get out of your mind and back into your body; Four ways to Release Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts seem to come out of nowhere and they sit right in front of the thoughts that serve you. The ones that keep you focused on your future goals, keep you productive and keep you smiling. Sometimes people get caught up in the cycle and just go with the flow. This is an indication that you’re not living on purpose…you’re flying on auto pilot. You, of course know this as a Professional Counselor but even professionals need to be reminded. If you keep up the cycle, it can ruin your entire day and next thing you know, months later, you’ve manifested everything you did NOT want in your life.

Things like the car that keeps breaking down, the spouse who you’ve stuck with despite dealing with emotional or physical abuse or even the job that no longer serves you. Sound familiar? There are plenty of examples but you get the point.

Reasons You’re Out of Touch

Today I wanted to give you some tips on how you can get back into your body. But first, let’s discuss why you probably feel so out of touch with it in the first place.

1. Modern lifestyle provides us with an endless amount of distractions. (Does your phone send you constant world event notifications too? Are you scrolling through Facebook at the stop light? Are you trying to chart but your co-worker keeps coming in to chat?)

2. You’ve learned to live with a certain level of constant discontent. (Work stress anyone? It’s hard when you’re working in an environment where you feel you have no control. You know that getting another job or even a promotion won’t solve your problem.)

3. You lack the energy to find the real reasons behind the discontentment. (At the end of your work day, how much energy is left to connect with your inner self, feel those negative feelings and address them? Most counselors I speak with say once they leave work, they have little energy to be a mom, wife, friend or make time for self-care.Many times it’s because they’re finishing up their paperwork at home but don’t get me started today!

4. You address your negative thoughts with stimulants (i.e. food, drugs, phone, television or compulsive shopping.) This one’s a hard one for many to admit. Don’t worry, you don’t have to but stop now to make an honest assessment of what you’ve been doing to deal with all those negative thoughts. Many of the professional counselors I’ve spoken with either use recreational drugs or they’re on prescription drugs to deal with their symptoms.  Please understand that this isn’t about shaming you. This is your personal Call to Action.

If you feel something in the pit of your stomach right now,  you’re in the right place at the right time because today, you’ll end this reading with some actionable tips you can use to get back into your body and take control of your negative thoughts.  You already know that if you’re looking for tips on how to stop negative thoughts, you won’t find them here, but here’s what you can do.

Get Back Into Your Body

1. When you experience intrusive negative thoughts, try your best to sit or stand still and connect with what you feel in your body. Do the thoughts trigger a back ache, tooth ache or even tingling in your feet?

2. Once you’ve recognized your physical body’s response, trace that thought back to its source. When I do this, I tend to think about the last few hours of my day. Sometimes I’m lead to something small that seemed insignificant in the moment but became larger because of my brain’s automatic response to ignore it and keep moving.

3. Take some deep breaths. There are many types of breathing exercises for stress that you can Google but my favorite is the 4-7-8 breathing pattern. It’s known for helping people get to sleep quicker but has helped me even when I’m alert and looking for instant stress relief.

4. Acknowledge the negative thoughts.  Those familiar with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy will understand this strategy. It almost sounds silly when you read it in a book but it works. There’s a reason the same thoughts keep resurfacing and it’s probably because they’re trying to get your attention. There’s something about them that hasn’t been resolved. The good news is that you’re ready to do the work!

I’m sure some will read today’s post and think “I’m a Professional Counselor, I already know this stuff!” Of course you do love. As a counselor, you’re likely so used to putting everyone ahead of yourself (including all your clients) that you’ve forgotten to take care of you. It’s hard to remember in our moments of frustration, what actually works for us because we’re used to suppressing our needs until bed time. By then, it’s too late because you’re so tired, you don’t make time to work on yourself. The tips above can help you if you’re willing to give them a try.

I hope today’s post has been helpful for you and if it has, please leave some feedback below. If you’re one of those Professional Counselors that feels so burned out you can’t even identify how you got there, you might enjoy downloading a copy of “The Counselor’s Block; 5 Burnout Traits Counselor’s MUST Heal From Before Embracing Career Transition” HERE. Promise you won’t regret it. 🙂

Until next time,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Survive your toughest moments with gratitude

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In today’s post, we’re discussing the benefits of gratitude. It’s sure to leave you feeling more appreciative of every experience you have in life. Many people talk about having an attitude of gratitude but what does that really mean?

Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. Sounds nice and simple, right? Basically be thankful for what you have, show appreciation when other people do things for you and return that with kindness. As easy as it sounds, the trials of life often get people stuck in a state of unhappiness, depression and it leaves them in a state where being grateful becomes difficult.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

As a Christian, I know that God doesn’t want us to be weary and burdened. Of course it’s natural that we will get this way from time to time and when we do, it’s good to turn to him first. Secondly, it’s important to know that you are not alone and to recognize where your control lies in every situation. You may feel down and out, stuck or depressed but what YOU choose to feed your mind in those moments defines how you will climb out. Here’s where the benefits of gratitude come in handy. You must recognize the importance of gratitude in life and taking time out of your day to engage in the practice of gratitude can help you improve in the following areas:

1. Emotional: more relaxation and the ability to call on happier memories.

2. Personality: more optimistic, increased self esteem.

3. Social: deeper relationships and a healthier marriage.

4. Health: improved sleep and increased energy.

5. Career: goal achievement and improved decision making.

So how do you do this? It’s simple. Here are some simple ways to practice gratitude.

  • Make a daily gratitude list (This doesn’t have to be long. You can start out by listing 3 things a day that you’re grateful for.)
  • When you start feeling stress, stop and think of the things you’re grateful for. This has instantly helped me on rough days.
  • Get others involved (This is a helpful one if you’re a care giver and your mood is impacting others. I often tell my kids what I’m grateful for and encourage them to tell me what they’re thankful for as well. Of course, they usually say “I’m grateful for Mommy!” What a mood lifter!)
  • Take a gratitude walk (Here you can combine exercise and gratitude. Exercise is known to release the brain’s feel good chemicals (aka endorphins) and while you’re walking, why not start with gratitude for your feet, sense of smell, eyes that help you see nature.)
  • Watch and/or listen to something inspiring (Your ability to hear or see is an obvious thing to be grateful for but sometimes listening to others’ stories of success, happiness and fulfillment can give you motivation and help you see the silver lining. You may leave feeling more grateful for the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.)

There are so many more that can be added but for now, I’ll leave it at that. Try some of these out and be sure to let me know in the comments if this practice is helpful for you. That’s all for now but before you go, don’t forget to check out my Facebook page where you will get access to more uplifting messages more frequently. You can check that out HERE.

Sincerely,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Visualization techniques won’t work if you’re forgetting this…

Photo by Viviana Rishe on Unsplash

Visualization is an old concept but one that’s making waves in the positive psychology space. It involves the formation of mental visual images. It’s a good exercise to use when you’re feeling low, battling depression or have a hard time seeing yourself as the successful person you desire to be. The problem? No matter how much visualization you do, the manifestation of your desires doesn’t always come right away and some dreams actually take longer to manifest.

This causes people to visualize inconsistently or even worse, they do it wrong. So have you been stuck with the “How to visualize effectively?” question? Most people probably think really hard about the things they want and even picture those things in their minds. This is great as it’s the beginning of visualization but if that’s all you’re doing (i.e. visualizing money, a new car, house built from scratch, job, vacation, etc.) you’re missing the mark.

If what you want hasn’t shown up in your life, there could be a number of things going wrong.

1. Time: As mentioned before, some dreams do take time to manifest. If you’re thinking visualization exercises will cause your dreams to manifest overnight, think again.

2. Action: Are you spending all day visualizing what you want but not taking any action to make it happen? Sorry to tell you but you are going to have to put some work in. The good news is that the work should be enjoyable since you’re putting energy towards something you desire.

3. Patience: Have you gotten impatient and therefore stopped doing the work? Maybe you still try visualization but negative thoughts overwhelm you and you can’t stay focused on what it is you desire. A good remedy for this is to try grounding exercises to make sure your mind doesn’t wander off. This could be as simple as sitting upright in a chair and feeling every piece of your body touch that chair before you practice visualization.

4. Identifying yourself in the visualization: Are you seeing yourself as the one on the receiving end of the things you want? Have you made a connection with seeing yourself driving the car you desire or do you just visualize your dream car on the lot, lonely without you as its’ driver?

I’d argue that the latter is one of the most important visualization techniques. There’s a block here for some people. They visualize the business they want to start but don’t actually see themselves registering a business name, marketing their services, attracting clients and accepting payment in return for stellar services. I hope you’re picking up how important this is. Many times, it may seem easier to see others with the things you desire but once you start placing yourself in your visualization, things start to change.

You can likely expect a better mood, more positive attitude towards life and you might even randomly find yourself visualizing throughout the day because your brain begins to recall those things that are important to you. Visualization is seeing and feeling yourself ALREADY being, doing and having the good which you desire. The key word is “already.” Now I could go into a long spiel about the importance of having gratitude for what you presently have but I’ll save that for another day. It’s okay if what you want hasn’t already shown up. Continue to practice visualizing what you desire, being thankful for what you currently have and remaining prayerful. Trust that God will give you the desires of your heart when you’re ready to receive them.

P.S. If you want more frequent pieces on encouragement and can’t wait for a weekly blog post, feel free to join my Facebook Group, Mindset Healing for Counselors HERE.

If you’d like to subscribe to the weekly newsletter, you can do that HERE.

Until next time,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

The Power of Now

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

What does it look like to step into your now and create a life you love? I ask because while out and about, I meet new people often. It’s normal for people to ask “So what do you do?” therefore the topic of career is usually a part of conversation.

It’s been very noticeable that people have no problem sharing what they do while lacking enthusiasm behind every word. Some frequent responses are “I work in medical billing but I don’t like it.” or “I’m a Professional Counselor but I wish I could do something that pays more. Don’t get me wrong, I like working with the people but the politics and pay are horrible!”

When did “but” become so normal? Also, when did people stop dreaming? The common denominator in most of the stories I hear is that people are waiting for something magical to happen for them to pursue career change. Even further, they lack belief in themselves and feel that they’ll only be able to take chances in the future…not now. It’s a sad truth. What happened to the power of now? The answer is that people started accepting their circumstances as law. They forget they have the power to change their now. It’s possible to create a life you love. It will take effort on your part however changing your belief about why you can’t is where you need to start.

Here’s How to Step Into Your Now

  1. Write down your vision. If you’ve been following this blog for a while you’re probably tired of this first step but seriously, ideas floating around in your head are great but writing them down solidifies them. It also helps you to stop day dreaming about your ideas and see them as something tangible.
  2. Examine your current life. Sometimes writing a pros and cons list helps here because it gives you the visual representation of what life really looks like. Make note of things that are going well and things that you don’t like but settle with. Are there things you’ve felt restricted from doing? Do others complain about your lack of time? Write them all down here.
  3. Determine your top 5 values. It’s very likely that you’re not living in alignment with your values if you say you value family but never get to spend time with them because of your draining job.
  4. Re-train your mind. Up until now you’ve probably told yourself you can’t step out and try something new because ______. Your excuse here doesn’t matter as much as your willingness to embrace change. Try visualizing yourself doing what brings you happiness. Add in some affirmations to help you overcome self-sabotaging or challenging thoughts. Also add in books or podcasts that motivate you and encourage you to take a chance on yourself. Self-motivation is key here. We can’t wait for someone else to give us what we’re already capable of doing.
  5. Make a plan. Steps 1-4 are great but if there’s no plan in place, then you’ll end up doing the same thing you’ve been doing which is settling. It’s okay if your plan involves you tolerating your current job for another year or two while you work on your dream in the background. We all have to live, right? What’s important is that you make a list of things you need to accomplish to make the change.

I sincerely hope these steps have helped you. They have helped me tremendously! Remember that even the smallest steps get you closer to your goal. You don’t have to remain stuck in a career that drains you and keeps you from connecting with others. It’s possible to do something that will fuel you and give you back control over your life. By the way, If you’re a Professional Counselor who’s feeling burned out, belief is low and you could use some help identifying what’s keeping you stuck in a job that doesn’t serve you, grab a copy of The Counselor’s Block; Five Burnout Traits Counselors MUST Heal From Before Embracing Career Transition HERE.

Thanks for your time today love,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Faith and discouragement…what you MUST know to push forward…

Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash

Now this is a topic many are afraid to Google. It has become a way of life for many as they deal with the trails of life and often become stuck in discouragement. One minute you’re feeling a little down and the next minute you’re complaining to everyone you know, cancel dinner with your friend and your voice is getting too loud when responding to the daily trials of parenthood. It’s important to ask “What are the causes of discouragement?” And if you’re a believer, “What is said about discouragement in the bible?”

You probably weren’t expecting this post to get biblical but here’s the truth…I’m a Christian. It’s the foundation of who I am as a woman, wife, mother, and all the many roles I play. So it will be interwoven in this blog as I merge all the parts of myself. No apologies. It’s important to note that my practice of counseling and coaching have always been guided by this identity however, it has never impeded my ability to help anyone who doesn’t share the same beliefs. 🙂

Now back to the topic at hand…

So where does discouragement even start? A basic definition is that it means to deprive of confidence, hope or spirit. It can begin when minor problems or pressures begin to affect your emotions. You might be more inclined to keep this to yourself at this stage but you’ll know it’s major when pressure mounts, your spirit is impacted and others begin to notice. Complain often? It’s understandable. You probably feel a need to vent and get confirmation you’re not losing your mind! Let’s take an example from the bible…

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

In this passage, Joshua is called to lead the children of Israel into the promised land. We can imagine it being a great challenge to engage in battle, claim land from its’ current inhabitants AND provide spiritual leadership. This challenge, however, was one in which God knew to provide words of strength and peace. Words have power. This scripture alone has lifted my spirit during the darkest of times. Using a combination of scripture, self-motivation, mindset work, prayer and meditation, you too can release yourself from the grip of discouragement.

Try some of these the next time you feel discouraged…

1. Take your favorite Bible scripture, write it on a post it note and put it on your bathroom mirror or another place you visit often.

2. Take time to pray or meditate. It is said that prayer is when we speak to God and meditation is when we are silent and wait to hear what he has to say to us.

3. Engage in positive mindset practice. One way you can do this is by embracing challenges as opportunities. For example, if you’re discouraged about finances, what lesson are you learning about your spending, saving habits? What are you learning about planning for the future? Even further, if you’re not where you want to be financially, what lessons were you taught about money as a child? Challenge those as often as you can. It’s a gift that we get to set new rules and standards as adults.

4. Seek support from a trusted friend or professional. It’s okay to admit you’re in the sunken place…just don’t stay there long. Maybe you have a friend who’s been through the same thing or maybe you’re experiencing severe discouragement and it’s time to seek out the help of a professional. You know you best so trust in your ability to make a good decision here.

Today’s post is meant to give you hope. Be strong and courageous as you embrace the challenges of life. Remember that you can’t go around them, going through them IS your only option so take a look at how you embrace challenges and identify where positive change can be made. It is my hope that you finish this post with inspiration and if you want more weekly inspiration, sign up for emails from your favorite Mindset Coach HERE.

My best,

Marquita

The Counselor’s Mindset Coach

Can you see the finish line?


Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I was listening to this YouTube video from Jon Gordon yesterday and he was sharing the moment when most marathon runners give up. Apparently, mile 20/26. I was shocked because you’d think if they make it that far, there’s a “I can’t give up, I’ve come too far!” mentality. 

Jon went on to say that people don’t quit when they’re one mile from the finish line because they can see it. The power of vision is huge! This got me to thinking about things in the past I’ve given up on. Lately I’ve been embracing everything from swimming to standing within 5 feet of my friend’s snake tank—both things I wouldn’t have attempted four years ago. So what changed?

In short, I did an overhaul on my mindset. It was much needed despite everyone thinking Professional Counselors must be the most positive people on earth! Nobody’s perfect people. In doing that work, a focus on practicing visualization had to happen to strengthen vision and belief. Do you have a vision? If you do, you have the power to make something special happen in your life. You’ve probably heard this phrase.

“If you can see it, you can achieve it.” 

If you’ve found yourself in a place where dreaming has come to a screeching halt, know that there’s hope. Sometimes doing it for ourselves alone isn’t the thing that pushes us and in fact, it is the case for many that playing big to help others keeps them going. Try these simple steps if you need to get back in touch with your vision.

  1. Decide what it is you really want. No holding back here. Imagine the sky is the limit!
  2. Commit to showing up. Let’s get real…not much is achieved without taking some form of action.
  3. Be willing to receive help. Often times we get stuck and give up because of that “Do it yourself.” mentality. We aren’t on earth alone. There are people strategically placed in your life for a reason. Ask for help.
  4. Embrace the challenges that may come. They are there to make you stronger. Remember that one day your story could impact millions!
  5. Keep going until your vision/dream has manifested. This step is important. If you’ve ever read “Think & Grow Rich,” you’ll know why. 😉

That’s all for today friends. I truly hope this blog post has inspired you to either identify your dream or recommit to the one you already have. If you’re a Professional Counselor looking for support around mindset, healing from burnout and removing mental blocks, I’d love to have you join my Facebook group, Mindset Healing for Counselors. You can join HERE.

With much gratitude,

Marquita (The Counselor’s Mindset Coach)

I Quit!!

What happens when excitement trades places with career burnout.

Burnout, a term described as a special type of work-related stress. According to the Mayo Clinic, it involves a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity. This is something I’ve experienced personally in the field as a Professional Counselor and have also witnessed my colleagues suffer from it as well. It’s tough going through it yourself and sometimes knowing your co-workers are also burned out is a relief–it validates you as not going crazy! It’s also a warning sign that something’s not right about the organization you’re working for. So what happens when that initial excitement for your career fades?

 You might can relate to the anxiety as you drive in to work or enter a meeting. Maybe you spend your lunch breaks crying in your car or dreading that drive to the next client’s home. It can get hard to hold your head up while eating dinner with your spouse when you’re fighting back tears. I get you…I’ve been there and it wasn’t pretty!

So what can you do about it? “I quit!!” are the words that ran through my head often when I was in the field. Some days I meant it and other days it just felt good to let it out and feel like I had some sense of control. Ultimately, there are steps you can take to get a handle on burnout.

Steps to Burnout Freedom:

Step 1: Evaluate your options. Can you choose the type of clients you work with? Do you have flex time? Have you checked out other jobs you might be a good fit for? You don’t have to remain in a work situation that stresses you out to the max. We all have choices.

Step 2: Focus on healing. What would it look like for you to heal from burnout? Write it down. Visualize what the new you looks like. Does she take on less “extra” workload? Maybe she attends more professional development activities to get a break. Does the healed version of you actually take vacation instead of saying to herself “I can’t take off. My clients need me!”

Step 3: Seek support from a qualified professional. Now here’s where you can get creative. You’re a counselor so I imagine you already believe in the benefit of therapy. If you feel that would be the best option, find someone who’s a good fit. Some counselors have a hard time going to therapy because they don’t feel they have a mental illness. If that’s you, getting a coach to help you walk over the burnout bride to healing is also a great idea. (Shameless plug…I’m here for ya when you need me. 😉 You can always incorporate some healing strategies on your own as well. Exercise, better sleep hygiene, mindfulness and relaxing activities such as yoga or meditation can do wonders for you.

These steps aren’t meant to be overwhelming. It’s important that you realize how much control you have and increase your energy so you’re able to take an active role in your healing. If you want a safe place to vent and get support from other professionals who are also healing, visit my Facebook group “Mindset Healing for Counselors” at http://bit.ly/2GpI6mE . Until next time, love.

Marquita-The Counselor’s Mindset Coach